My Dirty Little Secret

With much angst and great anticipation, I opened the crisp pages of the newspaper. It had been many years since I had traversed the help wanted ads, but I knew I needed to do something to get myself out from behind my computer and moving! I also could use a few friends, having just relocated to Plymouth after living in the same community for 15 years. Little did I know that I was about the embark on a most amazing experience that would leave me changed for life.

It was then that I saw the ad for a "Dry Harvester." My heart skipped a beat! What? Work in the sun, get paid to exercise, and actually be able to leave your troubles at the office at the end of the day? I'm in! But how would I ever be able to keep this is a secret from my friends and family? What would they think of me, working a farming job? I would need to figure that one out later.

As I drove to the office to fill out the application, I had not recalled feeling that nervous in a long time. What if they don't hire college educated people? What if they don't hire women? What if they don't hire moms? What if, what if, what if!

And two weeks later, I was at the company orientation, being instructed on the ins and outs of dry harvesting cranberries. I was completely unaware that the most profound lessons I would learn, would only come from hands on experience. I could never do them justice in a short blog, but here are a few...

• Cranberry Harvesting is a very complex and fascinating business. Maintaining the bogs is a 24-7 job, 365 days a year.
• General labor, unskilled labor, menial labor- however you choose to define it, is indeed LABOR!
• Immigrant workers (and I'm not talking about illegal immigrants) are an extremely hard working and valuable and part of our economy- period. Don't even think about taking a stand against immigrants until you REALLY understand what they do for this country. I have seen it, and they are amazing!
• Producing a quality crop involves hard work from man (and woman) power, a variety of mechanical equipment (including helicopters) and amazing computer systems.
• It is important to hold your shirt down when the helicopters fly overhead, to avoid flashing nearby co-workers.
• Cranberries WILL stain designer jeans.
• Women work just as hard as the men (well, actually, we've been known to work a little harder!)
• Watching a dedicated and passionate farmer is truly a thing of beauty.

The type of work that I do does not usually lend itself to immediate results. I must continually remind myself that I have impacted people in a positive ways. This experience was one of the first in my life where I could walk away at the end of the day and physically see, if you will allow me... "the fruits of my labor." And it has become one that I am proud to share with family and friends. I know that it may seem silly to say this because it has become so cliche, but the food on the table that some of us often take for granted, really is worthy of our thanks. I can assure you it arrived there because of great devotion on the part of the farmer.

See you on the bogs!

The Cranberry Diva

Treat Yourself Like Company

"Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log." ~Ellen DeGeneres

The Holiday season is officially here, at least that's what I learned when I was a child. My mom always said it becomes official when Santa arrives at the Macy's Day parade. So, tis the season to be jolly! We are now supposed to feel joy and bliss, and fill our hearts with love and giving! Stay with me here...

it could happen.

There are many people who have mastered the ability to embrace the spirit of the holiday season. If you are one of those people, I congratulate you! But let's be real. For some of us, the holidays are a time of great stress and anxiety.
One of the ways I often see (and experience) additional holiday stress is through the urge to "should" on oneself. This may sound something like this...

"I should send Aunt Ginny a Holiday card."
"I should polish the silver for the guests."
"I should stay in my budget."
"I shouldn't have spent so much."
"I should give a tip to..."
"I should pass on dessert."
"I shouldn't have eaten that dessert."
"I should get along with my mother-in-law."
'I shouldn't have argued with my mother-in-law."

And the list goes on...

For many reasons, some of us revert back to old and familiar patterns when we are surrounded by family. Expectations once imposed on us by said family, have become self-imposed, since we are now free-thinking adults with choices.
This holiday season, if you find yourself feeling the urge to should on yourself, or giving in to those old familiar, yet uncomfortable patterns, take a minute to get aligned with your values. The passion, the essence, the real you. Not the one you pretend to be in times of stress.

And if all else fails, simply remember to treat yourself like company. Trust me, you deserve it!

"Oh the Places You'll Go!"

"Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go."

These are the opening paragraphs for Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go!" Isn't it funny how some little tid bit of information, an event, or an experience can sit in the back of one's mind, just waiting for the perfect moment to go "click!" Sometimes it's more like "BAM!" Or maybe "dugh..."

Two years ago, at the end of my Life Coach training, one of my instructors read us this story, "Oh the Places You'll Go!" I had read the book myself several times before, so although I was amused with my instructor's silly antics while reading, I wasn't particularly moved by the text.

Until today.

As I was deciding what information to include in this newsletter, it hit me that just a few months ago I was contemplating going back to a "real" job. You know, the kind where you work 9-5, fifty weeks a year, making a lot of money for someone else. If you're lucky, much of your life is not sucked up by a lengthy commute, and you actually enjoy what what you do. And as I considered how nice the "security" would be, I realized that I would also be giving up something for which I have intense passion, and also brings me great joy.

So, I decided it was time. I needed to go places. I didn't know where I would go, or how. In fact, the more I tried to figure this out, the more confused I got. I needed to stop thinking and just move my feet!

And where has it taken me? I am so excited to announce that I will be joining the brand new Med Spa New England in downtown Plymouth! The space is absolutely gorgeous. I will be able to provide coaching, group coaching, workshops and special events all in one place, while sharing the space with some great practitioners! If you are close enough, I hope you will stop in November 24th or 25th from 11:00-4:00 for our Holiday Open House!

And the journey has just begun. With my new radio program, a product launch in the works, all of my amazing clients and the new connections I am making, who knows where I'll end up!

What journey have you been wanting to take? Do you want to write a novel? Join a club? Climb Mount Everest? Or simply take some time to soak in the bath tub? Dr. Seuss has some inspiring words for you...

"And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3 / 4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So...be your name Buxbaum or Bixby
or Brayor Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!"

How to Take On That Nasty Four Letter Word... F#%!

No, it's not the word you were thinking about! Clean up that mind of yours :) I am talking about "FEAR."

Do you live with fear? Excellent! Fear is good. Oh, I know there are those who say that fear is your gut telling you that you are doing something wrong. Or that you aren't trusting God (the Universe, Buddha, or whatever word you use to refer to your Higher Power). And there are also those who believe that fear keeps us safe. Well, unless you are actually being physically accosted, right now, which most of thankfully are not, you are safe.

Notice I said live with fear, not in fear. The switch of those two words makes all the difference! Mark Twain once stated, "Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear." This quote is loaded with power. Power, because it is the difference between allowing fear to control you, and...

• challenging oneself! You know, those overused cliches which I am now going to shamelessly plug in right here - "step out of the box" and "step out of your comfort zone."


• following your bliss! Those times when you get an idea and think wow, I would really love to (fill in the blank with your own passions here), and then you figure out a way to do it! Or at least take one small step to get you on your way.


• defining your own beliefs! It's about going deeper into the ideas we have been taught by our families, friends, churches, communities, and the media - and then creating our own thoughts, explanations and meanings for this crazy thing we call LIFE.


• standing up for your own beliefs! Regardless. It doesn't matter what others believe, when you are aligned with your head and your heart, this is what counts. It's all good.

But who am I kidding? Living with fear is not always easy! I have found myself on more than one occasion, trembling, sleepless, questioning, doubting, perspiring, stammering, hyperventilating, overeating, vomiting and even crying, because I shifted from "with fear" to "in fear." It's OK if you find yourself here. Just shift yourself back.

So how does one "master" fear, as the wise Mr. Twain suggests? Here are a few tricks that have helped me. I would love to hear what you do...

1.) BREATHE- I know this sounds silly to some, so new age. Well, actually, it is not. When people get stressed, we have a tendency to tighten our diaphragms and restrict the oxygen flow. Less oxygen in your body means less to your brain. Want to think the problem through? Give your brain some food- and breathe!

2.) BE IN THE MOMENT- Unless you are currently being physically accosted (in which case, stop thinking, it's time to fight or flee!) you are most likely afraid of something that has already happened, or has yet to happen. The past is gone, the future is not here. Neither are concrete or tangible. You only have this moment. Right now. And right now. And right now. Say it--- "I am safe in this moment!" And if it's too scary to live day by day, or hour by hour, live second by second. Tell yourself "I am going to deal with this moment only. I will deal with the next moment, in a moment. Right now I am only focusing on this moment."

Another great trick is to write out the worst possible thing that you can imagine happening. OK, now ask yourself, how would I handle this, if indeed, the worst possible thing does happen? Take control, you can do it! Write down how you would deal with it, every possible solution.

3.) VISUALIZE- Alright, now rip up that paper about the worst case scenario, and get focused on what you WANT to see happen. Write that down and keep it! Decorate it! Post it! Put it on your computer's screen saver! Write a jingle about it! Whatever works, but visit it often! As Dr. Denis Waitley says, "When you visualize, your materialize."

4.) HAVE FAITH- To many people, this is a complicated word. To me, it is not. Faith means "belief" or "confidence" or "trust." It doesn't matter if your faith lies with God, many Gods, Buddha, Allah, yourself, your family, your pet rock or your lucky underwear. The only thing that counts is that you have it! This means trusting that you will get through whatever it is you are fearing.

And you will get through it. Honestly, you have no choice right? Unless you run from it. But there are serious repercussions for this. You may be giving up your passions. Or maybe that thing you are running from is going to come back and bite you in the ass! Either way, it is not a pretty picture. So face it.

5.) SEEK SUPPORT- You don't have to face your fear alone. Trust that you will get the support you need. Why not? It doesn't hurt. It doesn't cost anything. And it will keep you from feeling alone. Keep yourself open to possibility. You never know where this support is going to come from. It may be in the last place you ever imagined. Or, it may be from a person or place you didn't even imagine!

I myself like to send angels to the rescue. I don't know if there really are angels out there. Maybe, maybe not. No matter. No one can "prove" either side, so I choose the one that makes me feel good! And the thought of 10,000 angles flying in to surround me with love an support is amazingly calm. And then, it works. Every time. Are the angles helping me? Is it just that I am calm enough now to figure things out? As I said, no matter.

6.) GO WITH THE FLOW- You do not have to have all of the answers. Try to avoid those why questions. Don't over-think it, feel it instead. Say to yourself, "It is what it is" and wait to see what happens next- with excitement. Life can be like a big grab bag. You don't know what's inside the bag when you get it. Sometimes you are happy with the contents, and other times it's not quite what you had hoped for. Either way, you always have those moments of exhilaration before you open the bag! Every day can be like that if you choose!

7.) GROW- So you picked the grab bag labeled "for a girl" and inside you find; a deck of cards, a toothbrush, some plain yellow pencils, a "Biker Babe" tattoo, and some stale gum. Not quite the sparkly fingernail polish or shiny jewelry you were hoping for. Oh well. Now what do you do with this?

You learn! Maybe you choose not to buy any more grab bags. Or maybe you will buy them from another store. Or maybe you get the "for a boy" bag next time. Whatever you decide, if you choose to grow from the experience then disappointment is never for not!

So now... as you embrace this world of fear, start small. There's no need to quit your job and start your own business on a shoe string. You don't have to jump on the surf board and start paddling out into the 6 foot waves. And you certainly don't have to sell 90% of your belongings in a yard sale and move out of state because you hate the cold. (Not that I know ANYTHING about these crazy ideas!)

Instead, try creating a business plan, taking surfing lessons, or getting your child custody agreement changed first. Unless of course you are moved to do otherwise. In this case, I say- GO FOR IT!

“Do something every day that scares you.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

I spent the week keeping myself busy with one project after another. I could have been a poster child for ADD, bouncing from one task to the next. Alright, I admit that’s not so out of the norm for me, but this week it was due to a desperate attempt to squelch the pain. You know, that sort of tingling and burning feeling in the pit of your stomach, A.K.A. “anxiety.” Every time I felt it come up, I shoved it so far down that by the end of the week I could hardly fit my feet into my shoes.

You see, I didn’t just “step out of the box” with this one. I latched myself onto a giant bungee cord and allowed the universe to catapult me into another world. This other world being, RADIO.

A few weeks back I was contacted by Deborah, proprietress of DreamVisions 7 Radio. She is in the process of building a network, and somehow she found her way to my doorstep. Comical. At least that’s what I thought. How could I,

a woman who becomes a deer in the headlights in front of a video camera,

a woman who only allows her picture to be taken by people under the age of 10,

a woman (still me I’m talking about here) who needs at least an hour to record her voice mail message, because she thinks she sounds like one of Willy Wonka’s Umpa Loompas,

possibly be a radio show host?! Yea, as I said- comical. I chuckled, “Oh I don’t know. This is not really something I ever saw myself doing.”

However Deborah persists. Perhaps she sees some Sallie Jessie Raphael in me? Or Delialiah? I don’t see it, but somehow Deborah has a mysterious way of making me feel safe, and comfortable. “O.K., let’s talk about it. I’m not saying yes, but I’m not saying no either.” She probably already knows that I am going to say yes, she’s got the intuition thing going on. And to be honest, I think I probably already know that I am going to say yes too. I had Eleanor’s quote, “Do something every day that scares you” playing in the back of my mind, as loudly as my next door neighbor's relentlessly barking dog.

So I accept the challenge. Now let’s fast forward to the scary part. No, it’s not signing the contract, or creating the promo. And it’s not telling people I know that I’m going to be hosting a radio show. That was scary, yes. But the real scary part, was getting out of the shower.

Stepping out of the shower, you are now likely wondering? Yup, stepping out of the shower was the scariest part. This is because I knew that everything I did, from that point forward, would be in preparation for my show. MY SHOW! MY RADIO SHOW! Holy $%#@! Yes, I did say that word. I was suddenly overcome with nausea.

I quickly moved into self-analytical mode. I needed to determine why I was feeling this way! Was this a good fear, or a bad one? Did this serve me? Or hurt me? Was I experiencing this just because I was out of my comfort zone? Or had I been nonsensical, and moved out of alignment with my values? Aaaaahhhhh. Do I have any TUMS?

Yeeeesssss! O.K., that’s a little better. Now back to the big question, why? And then suddenly, I realized that I didn’t need to know why. This was one of those times when it was right to just go with the flow. I couldn’t go around it. I couldn’t go over it. And I couldn’t go under it. There was just one way- I had to go through it!

Well, obviously I lived to tell the tale. The radio show was alright. My best work in fact (O.K., so it was my only work, but who needs to know that minute detail?!) The outpouring of love and support from my family, friends and colleagues was nothing short of overwhelming, despite the fact that I was secretly harboring fears that they would criticize me.

I still don’t know why I am here, posing as a radio show host, or where this will lead me. Those silly little details will work themselves out. I will keep you posted. In the meantime, I will have my 3 year old nephew join me at the studio for one of my shows, so he can take my picture. Now I’m off to the pharmacy to stock up on TUMS. My next show is only a few days away…